Sta.sh
Well, long story short a hard-boiled egg exploded in my mouth today.
When I put the two hardboiled eggs - shell and all - into the microwave I expected nothing less than a tasty surprise. A surprise I got! Only minutes later I heard a loud explosion that only crescendoed with my growing egg disappointment.
I opened the microwave. As I suspected (having sleuthed the sound and traced it to the exploding of an egg) the egg had expanded past its shell boundaries and exploded into one million pieces.
I cleaned the microwave and looked, with great satisfaction I might add, at the fallen egg's one remaining kinsman. Drenched in the exploded egg yolk of its felled compatriot, I knew this second egg would be one to savor.
I cracked open the shell and popped the whole egg into my mouth. By then I knew something was wrong, very wrong.
Do you know how in the movies, there are always those tense moments after the pin has been pulled on the hand-grenade and you know something is going to blow up? Well, this is how I felt as soon as I took the first bite. I could feel the gases inside rushing to escape, but by then it was too late; all I could do was resign myself to years of intense dental work, occasionally interspersed by heavy ridicule from those who loved me most before the accident.
As the egg exploded, I couldn't help but think of some of the good things in life that I had overlooked prior to the Time of the Egg (TOE, as I would come to refer to it in the coming years). Sometimes we get so caught up as UCSD students that we forget what is most important: a child's laughter; presents under the Christmas tree; scrambled eggs.
From an egg perspective, I can see why the second egg did what it did. I had killed its brother in the most brutal possible way, and I had added insult to injury by thinking to eat the second egg just moments after it had witnessed its brother Eggbert's death (Egg names are notoriously uncreative).
I write this now from the hospital bed where I will spend the next few years. Veteran's Hospital. They've put me in the Meat/Produce Intensive Care Recovery Center, where I've already made a few new friends. It's different here on the inside, but you learn a lot about yourself too. For example: did you know that a microwaved zuchinni can also explode in your mouth? I bet you didn't.
The 34 drops by every thirty minutes, so I hope you visit.
Love, Chui
| Deviant Login | Shop |
 | Join deviantART for FREE  |
Take the Tour  |
I've read this journal over a dozen times. And it still makes me laugh until I cry.
I've sent the link to this to numerous people as well.
And on a day as bad as today, when all I need is a laugh (so sorry that it's at your expense) I always come back to this.
I hope that things are going well for you. And that someday you'll be able to face the eggs again.
--
We are living in dangerously weird times now - Hunter S Thompson
--
Daniel Chui
[link]
--
Random Deviant
--
Daniel Chui
[link]
--
I like the smell of my hair treatment - the pleasing odour is half the point!
--
Daniel Chui
[link]
But the worst was when my wife put a pot on the stove filled with eggs and water, put a lid on it, and then fell asleep... I came home to find that the eggs (shells and all!) had turned into a black tar... I threw the whole pan outa. Took about two months for the house to stop smelling like a sulfer mine. What I SHOULD have done was see if I could have used the tar like sludge as Biodiesel, hehe.
Kudos to
--
See my stock account at ~tkrain-stock
Second Life art gallery at Lendorel's Art Gallery
--
Daniel Chui
[link]
--
See my stock account at ~tkrain-stock
Second Life art gallery at Lendorel's Art Gallery
never feeeear (e boredom, of course)....!
hope you're feeling much better lately, dooode..
my finals are in.. um.... 4 days, maybe 5... around there.. at most 6... you know, time differences and all...
right.. so here i am, taking some time to say hi...
and i do hope the egg yolk hasn't caused any infections in those lungs of yours..
and that your teeth aren't sticking and stinking already...
cheers!
i'm sure when you look back on it, you'd prolly go "what a doofus i am, but hey! that was fun!"
heh heh heh..
--
click it, says angeline.
well, hello hello!