Florida is a place of beautiful nature, serene skies, and quiet marshlands that stretch as far as the eye can see. It is also a place of undeniably sexy women in scandalous clothing. For my purposes, I will elaborate on the more important of the two.

Since I was very young, my eyes have alway wandered to the finer things in life. A child's laughter. The love between mother and daughter. Also, boobies. These are all things that I seek out, because life is short and I want to be able to capture them so that when I am old, wise, and a Kung Fu master I can reflect upon the long and arduous journey that has brought me to where I am.

More on boobies. I am a connosieur of boobs of all shapes and sizes, and Florida is a land of plenty in this regard. When I was a kid my parents used to sit me down by the Christmas tree and tell me, "What, do you think boobs grow on trees?" Well, in Florida they do. While at Universal Studios, Orlando, it suddenly became clear to me that the overall boob-factor (this is a scientific term) of Florida is at least 3.0 points above that of Northern California. Walking off of the Jaws ride, which tends to soak unsuspecting men, women, and children with genuine mechanical-shark-blood water, I could not help but stop for a moment and appreciate the beauty of woman/modern science.

When I say appreciate, I want women to know that I really do appreciate them. This may seem like a blunt segway from my praise of women's boobs, and in fact it is! But I digress. There are so many beautiful things about women that I cannot even begin to elaborate, nor would be appropriate in a public forum. As a former gay man (admittedly only for one evening), I can tell you that it is hard work to resist the wily charms of woman. Even in my final throes of Gaydom (again, a temple in Calcutta), I couldn't help but feel so lucky to have spent that evening in San Fran with a close friend, who is to me the most beautiful woman in the world.

Anyway, I hope that I was able to express even a small portion of my appreciation for women and their undeniable sexiness. So the next time you see yourself in the mirror, ladies, give yourself a hug for me. And then later, feel really awkward about it. Because hugging yourself went out with pogs.

- Chui